I don’t want to hold on to a memory of you that has been lost from your character by the mistakes i have made. I have been waiting and praying, wishing for that one day when you will eventually say that you forgive me, but then i realized how emotional all this guilt had chained me to you so i came up with two theories of how i would lose my memory of you. One being that eventualy would come too late, and that I would have to drink my self to death and the second one being that one day i would beg you and leave you with no choice but to hurt me so deep that the pain would cut through the guilt i hold so dearly that i cant seem to move on. I am saying all these things cause i had a choice, and its gone now. I write this with so much emotion that i can hardly see beyond the tears in my eyes, so if there’s any part of you that i used to know still in there, I beg you… hurt me, release me from this suffering cause you are the only one who can.