Swagg Up!!!


Swagg Up 2013

By Marvin A. Machiavelli

Alright, now this is one of those things that just happen not to be ignored so easily, especially if it happens to land in your smile deficit zone. It was a boring day as long as it lasted which (as you will hear) was not long. It had just started drizzling when the CEO landed in the building with a handful of newspapers. It was so cold that my skin was shrinking through the continual bad weather. I was so bored chilling on a PC that happened to suck every single minute I stared at it when suddenly some guy and chick came in to shelter themselves from the rain ‘mbu’.  What I didn’t know was that they were buddies to the friends I was chilling with. Before I knew it, he’s were flying around and I managed to grab myself a few.

A few minutes later, the chick grabbed a newspaper and started browsing through moments before her condition entered a whole dimension of weird.

Chick: ‘Whose are these?’
Marwin: ‘Those would be mine’
Chick: ‘I wonder what kind of lame person would purchase such crap.’
Marwin: ‘those ain’t mine’, on second thought, I quickly replied, but despite my efforts to escape the woman’s wrath, she managed to take a glimpse at my rather astonished face of guilt. At this moment I’m almost sure she had been taking bitchy pills.

Speaking of shopping, what kind of ‘lame person’ would go shopping strapped in a pair of pale red ‘Umoja’ sneakers. Let’s face it, that that ish sucks to the highest degree, I mean back in the bathroom, Umoja is like the Chuck Norris of sandals, not here. Her stylist must be a total disaster of a person, I forget, it’s the dude she came in with.

I just want to say that we understand, it’s a free country. Gone are the days of Idi Amin (R.I.P) where one was caught with such ish in public would be put to death, or even better, forced to make a sandwich out of them. This is a warning to those of you with brands that match the above (whatever you might call it.)
That ish ain’t cool man and no one would like to rest their eyes on them, ever!

Though the ‘Kito’ brand is excused, however until I find me a new pair of Chuck T’s. But for the Supra’s, come on, if no one has told you yet, a pair of brightly colored gigantic shoes is the perfect place to conceal explosives, so don’t act surprised when the bomb squad calls you in for questioning.
©Now that brings me to the part where I start wondering, how come the stylist did not blow his ‘boss lady’ sky high, and how good was the tailor that managed to stitch the supra label on 4th hand timberland shoes that definitely had a history of sewing, depending on the evidence I gathered. And lastly, how those poor tractor tire soles must have felt after the original owner succumbed to corrosion and how they thought they had retired from road work, only to be sewed on timberland’s to be recalled for duty.


22 thoughts on “Swagg Up!!!

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